Rescue Dick

“There is no substitute for good, old-fashioned, mind-blowing sex”. – @Maneatersblog

A wise man once said, “A woman who has a platonic male friend is like having a dick in a glass jar; BREAK IN CASE OF EMERGENCY”.  As it turns out he wasn’t so wise, but there was some truth behind his words.

You know what I’m talking about ladies.  He’s that guy that does what he does so good, you’re guaranteed to have the “O-Face” every single time the two of you have sex.  Now this isn’t just run-of-the-mill booty call, any woman can have one of those if she so chooses.  No, I’m talking about that one guy, that “ace in the hole” (if you get my meaning), talent so good, it should be labeled and marketed and available only behind the counter (or on the counter), known for getting the job done each and every time. Well I’ve come up with a term for one so gifted.


Think about it.  In an emergency situation the protocol is to call 911, and they’ll send someone right away to your rescue. Well why should sex be any different? Why can’t there be someone to come rescue you from your sexual emergency? Now this may not be a guy that you’d normally have a meaningful relationship with. Either he has the IQ of a potato, or too fat, too thin, not too good-looking, (too good-looking), too full of himself, etc., but when it comes to doing the job right, he’s mister “johnny-on-the- G-spot”.

I sincerely believe that all single women, and even some who are dating, should have a Rescue Dick in their arsenal ready at a moments notice.

However, using said RESCUE DICK does come with its hazards, and like the Surgeon General, I’ve come up with a warning label, or better yet a disclaimer, that clearly expresses the dangers of using such a potent product.

Disclaimer:  Rescue Dick is for emergencies only.  Use of Rescue Dick will result in moaning of various natures, increased wetness, biting and/or grabbing of bed sheets, noticeable bites and or scratches over your body,  squirting and cumming nonstop, feelings of intense euphoria, and may cause the functions of your legs to temporarily cease. Rescue Dick is not for everyone.  Before use please ask your doctor if you are healthy enough to handle 5 or more intense orgasms.  Feelings of attachment, jealousy, and addiction can occur.  Please use Rescue Dick responsibly.




5 responses to “Rescue Dick

  1. Thats the craziest disclaimer I have ever seen!! Oh yeah!! I like that…lmao

    I wish I had a “Rescue Dick” 🙂

  2. I know exactly what you are talking about. The guy who you’d never date and is wrong for you in all area but one. *give me a moment* Yeah, had one of those & it was amazing. Let him go when he got engaged…even I have lines I won’t cross.

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