Race Relations…

“Love sees no color.” – KJ Jerome

It has been almost 150 years since the emancipation of slaves and the abolishment of slavery and over 60 years since upstanding men like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X drove the Civil Rights Movement in an attempt for minorities to gain equality with Caucasians in this country.  As a nation we’ve made strides and have become more accepting, culminating in the fact that we now have an African-American, Barack Hussein Obama, as our Head of State.  However, despite how far we’ve come, we still have a very long way to go.

I was catching up with a long time friend of mine today that informed me that her love life had become rather complicated within the last few months.  She explained to me that she’d fallen in love with a close friend, and although he has feelings for her as well, dating for them would be almost impossible because of the fact that his parents don’t like that she’s African-American (He’s Caucasian).  When his parents found out, his mom asked, “Why’d it have to be a black girl?”  I guess we should be grateful she didn’t ask, “Why’d it have to be a “nigger” woman?”  It also seems his dad has threatened to exclude him from his will if the relationship continues. 

Seriously? Would the situation have garnered less hostility if the subjects were reversed?  To some extent it seems that African-American women catch more hell for dating outside of their race-especially if it’s a Caucasian male-than African-American men.  I wonder why that is exactly…

One has to ask, ‘What’s so bad about interracial dating?”  Is there something that I’m not getting?  Personally I think we should all date outside our perspective races to muddy up the waters a bit, that way we won’t be able to differentiate who’s what.  Why are we still so caught up with color?  The color of your skin has no bearing on who you are as a person, or who you’re going to become, at least it shouldn’t.  Maybe it’s in the upbringing.  As a child I played with children of other races and had no classification of who they were other than “my friends”.  In various aspects of my adult life I’ve now grown to classify other adults not by color but as co-worker, boss, lover, friend, enemy, etc.  I can still see the identifying color of this skin, but I DON”T CARE. People should be judged by their actions and what is in their heart, not on their complexion.

As for my friend and her dilemma, the only advice I could give her was to “do what makes you happy”.  If being with this man is what you want then got for it.  In the end you’re dating him and not his parents or anyone else that is bringing negativity into your relationship.  Let your heart guide you and not your eyes.  Remember, love sees no color.


(For those interested in interracial dating you can check out www.coffeeandcreamlove.com. It’s a very resourceful site that allows you to connect with thousands of potential singles.)


9 responses to “Race Relations…

  1. I agree 110% with this post. Color shouldn’t be a factor. I never understood, why it’s considered ok for a black man to date a white woman. But not okay for a black girl to date a white man. As long as their happy who cares!!!

    • I completely agree. I still don’t get why it’s such an issue in this day and age. I live in an area where I see interracial couples everyday and I have no problem with it. You can’t help who you love and I don’t think skin color should play a factor. Thank you for your comment. Feel free to read some of my other posts and share. I’ve checked out your blog and you have some very interesting and insightful views.

      • Thanks for the kind words about my blog. I will have to go thru some of you other post!!

  2. I do believe things are a little more complicated than this. I can tell you personally, my family would never be okay with me dating or marrying certain ethnicities. It isn’t that they are racist people, but they are very firm in their “beliefs’ that we should date within our own races.

    As hypocritical as this may sound, I love seeing little mixed-race children running around. LOVE IT. However, I don’t date outside of my race. It is so complicated with my family and my surroundings. I also would never want my child to suffer racism themselves.

  3. Pingback: Interracial Dating 2011 ~ Have Things Changed? « Dating Diva Sites

  4. I can only speak for myself here but I have run into some issues dating African American men as a Caucasian woman. My parents are the first to marry outside of their Irish/Greek backgrounds and that was an incredible scandal at the time. My father always said that he’s never accept an African-American as somebody we’d want to date. Over the years he calmed down a good bit on this though. I’m the oldest of 4 girls and all of us have dated outside our race at one time or another (one sister more so than she does date white guys). With time, exposure to the wonderful men we chose, and understanding he’s come around. He still thinks it would be too hard to merge backgrounds and heritage in the form of a marriage but he no longer grumbles about who we date.

    I have only been serious with one black man and my father loved him. He’d come up to our summer house and spend long weekends with the family, they’d grill together, go fishing/shooting together. It was wonderful to see. In fact even after we broke up and he got married he would still come up and spend time with us. I had a lot of anxiety about dating outside my race though and hid it for a long time from my family.

    I think he nailed it, “Girls have a stronger pull to please, to make their daddy proud, and to be “good”. He didn’t give a shit what people thought but I still did. I do think it is getting better though.

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