I love you, but..

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.  Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”Thomas Merton

There used to be a time when love was blind to flaws and imperfections.  Remember?  Well, maybe you don’t, nevertheless, there was a time.  These days however,  in a society where everyone is on a mission to be perfect, they are also trying to grasp “perfect love”.  Lately it seems the only way to attain 100% of someone’s love is to meet some sort of condition or standard.  When did love become such a tangled web of requirements and contracts? The love I remember involved two people caring and accepting each other for who they were and not what they could be. Love isn’t about settling for someone who you think you can model or shape into the perfect soul-mate.  Isn’t the entire idea behind love to find someone who wants you for who you really are?

How many of you have been in a relationship and your significant other hits you with, ” I love you, but I want you to cut, (or grow) your hair “, or “I love you but you might want to lose some weight (and not for health reasons), or even, “I love you, but your breasts (just an example) are too small”, (or too big). I was taught that love is unconditional, which by definition means, “without condition or limitations“, not “I love you, but”, or “I’ll love you more, if”.  Human beings have a limitless capacity for love, so why are some of us trying to ration it out?

If you love yourself just the way you are, then so should everyone else.  If they can’t love you for you, then they can “kick rocks”.  We all have our own uniqueness and flaws that have shaped us into who we are and no one should try to dictate who we should be, or who they want us to be.  No one is perfect, but we are all perfect in the eyes of the ones that love us.  Unconditional love IS perfect love.

SN:(The same does not apply if you boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse is an alcoholic, drug addict, compulsive gambler, abuser, or any other serious condition or offense.  Some things you just should not overlook no matter how much you love someone. If you love them, get them some help or seriously think about whether or not you want to spend your life with that person.)

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4 responses to “I love you, but..

  1. Yes, the days of loving someone for who they are, are hiding around conrners. See that was I problem I faced in one of my longest relationship…he wanted me to be someone else…and I was me. We ended because he couldn’t get pass that.

    What I look for now is someone who will love me as I am!!

    This is a great post!

  2. Nice! Good post! There are too many conditions now. People want “designer mates” who fit a certain mold and that’s probably why so many people are single. There’s no love in telling your mate their not perfect for you and need to change something.

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