You Must Be Shittin’ Me!

I pride myself in being a very calm, collected and patient individual. I’m usually very level-headed when it comes to things that may drive other people over a fucking cliff. I’m not bothered by many things and if I find myself in a disagreement I try to remain as rational as I can and try to see both sides of things. That being said there are a few things that work my nerves.

In the apartment complex I live in the people are pretty nice. Most of them aren’t loud and most are very polite and cordial. I’m not friends with any of my neighbors, but if I pass them or anyone else in the hall pleasant greetings are always exchanged.

All that is about to change.

Simple enough right?

My complex allows pets given certain parameters are met. Some have cats, others have dogs and since most people take their dogs outside to do their business, there are allotted stations that are present for the disposal of your their fecal matter. I’ve never had an issue nor have I ever heard of anyone having an issue dealing with anyone not cleaning up after their pet, until today.

Upon returning home from running some errands and visiting my sister (another story I’m going to blog about), I passed a woman sitting on the steps to my building wearing a shower cap (she was black, you don’t even have to ask). Upon passing her I got hit with a very pungent odor and thought to myself “Man this woman smells like straight ass. How can anyone come out of the house smelling that?”. As I continued up the steps I noticed that there were brown smudges going up the steps and as I put 2 and 2 together I realized that someone must have stepped in dog shit and tracked it up the stairs. As upsetting as it was that I would have to smell this unpleasantness until it’s cleaned up I wasn’t too upset about it. Shit happens. However, as I got to the top of the landing I realized that my previous assessments were completely wrong. What was waiting for me in from of my neighbors apartment door was a somewhat freshly stepped in pile of shit on their “WELCOME” mat.

Yeah, that happened.

Who the fuck does that?! Who lets their pet take a nice big steamer on someone’s door mat and not have the decency to clean that shit (pun intended) up? I could not believe what I was seeing. Thankfully is wasn’t in front of my door or everyone on my level would be dead, but still, that’s just wrong and seriously gross. As a matter of fact I think it might still be there…gimme a second to check…yep still there.

Nasty fuckers!



17 responses to “You Must Be Shittin’ Me!

  1. Hahahahahahah. I always see things like that. I stop, close my eyes, and imagine it happening. I picture the guy walking down the hall, about a foot away from the mat take a look at his shoe, realize there’s shit on it, and quickly wipe it on a random mat while making sure no one is seeing him do it. Fucking ridiculous.

  2. Yep. Dog owners SUCK!!!! And before I get a ton of nasty replies, I will admit that I own a dog. However, many people who own dogs seem to be completely oblivious that there are other people in the world. They will let their dog run off leash, bark at their neighbors incessantly for hours on end, crap all over their neighbors yard, etc. And there is really nothing you can say or do about it – if you do dare say something, somehow YOU are being rude or ridiculous. I mean after all – their sweet little “Muffy” is not the problem and would never hurt anybody! – – Yeah? Then how come I have scars on my body being attacked by your ‘sweet dog’?

    • They don’t all suck. The majority of the people here that have dogs do a good job of picking up after their dog, but i can point out one particulr older white lady that never does it…but she lives 2 buildings down so it can’t be her dog.

  3. Holy Shit (pun intended). Remind me again? Why do we humans live in close quarters to one another, and why did we invent apartments and condos? Those neighbors need a lesson in humanity. We’re not barbarians people. You must post a follow-up once you find out whodunnit.

  4. Did you have to take such a large photo of it? LOL! This is horrible. I would have a serious problem with someone if I found out that they let their dog take a “growler” in front of my door. That’s absolutely ridiculous. Unless their dog was not on a leash and was out of their site, there’s definitely no excuse for it. One of the main reasons I don’t own a dog now is because I don’t want the responsibility of cleaning up after them.

    • Exactly. I don’t own any pets now cause I don’t want to deal with that..I’m limiting my pet ownership to fish and birds..whenever I do decide to have a pet.

  5. The welcome mat pic had me rolling! WTH is wrong with people?!? I have had dogs my entire adult life and these are the arseholes who make it impossible for responsible dog owners to find a decent place to live! Take it from me, the owner of two large dogs, there is no excuse and I’m just as revolted by it as you are.

  6. Oh dear…it’s confirmed…some people really do suck shit!

    Add whoever’s responsible for that to the list of people karma needs to NOT miss!!!

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