Suspicious Much?

What makes a person suspicious? Is it the clothes they wear? The way they move? Is it the color of their skin? I don’t think any one factor can or should be a reason to label someone as suspicious, however that all changes if  a few things come together.

Take Tyrone for instance (I don’t actually know his name but this guy looked like he could be a Tyrone).

I was driving to work yesterday when I saw Tyrone’s shiny red sports car in my rear view mirror. Tyrone must have been in a hurry, as he was coming up behind me pretty quickly and weaving through traffic rather erratically. He must have been late to work. Finding a whole in the traffic, Tyrone managed to get over to the next lane and opened up the throttle on his shiny new convertible. As Tyrone was pulling up next to me, I was starting to admire his car when I actually got a good look at Tyrone and did a double take (I’m sure you would have too).

"Would you like to arrest me now officer, or would you rather wait till I knocked over the liquor store down the street?"

Now I’m not one to jump to conclusions but I think Tyrone looked fucking suspicious. Now some of you may disagree but take a moment to let me explain myself. Take a look a at what I like to call my “Equation Of  Tyrone’s Suspiciousness”:

Black Guy + Sunglasses = Not Suspicious
Black Guy + Convertible Red Sports Guy =Mildly Suspicious (Black guys don’t really drive convertibles on the East Coast)
Black Guy + Hoodie  = Mildly Suspicious (Unless you live in FL then you fucked)
Black Guy + Hoodie + Sunglasses = Mildly Suspicious
Black Guy + Hoodie with hood up + Sunglasses = Dial 9-1 and just wait
Black Guy + Hoodie with hood up + Sunglasses + Convertible Red Sports Car + Erratic Driving = Someone call Officer Dick Asshole!

You really can’t really see it in this picture but what self-respecting thug drives a red convertible Mitsubishi Eclipse with glitter in the paint? I’m mean seriously, tell me you wouldn’t pull that guy over. I know I would.



Officer Dick Asshole

"Oh HE'S black, let's get him!

When it comes to officers of the law, (cops, pigs, one time, po-po, babylon, five-0) I’m on the fence on how I feel about them in general. Usually I have nothing against police officers, AS LONG AS THEY ARE DOING THEIR JOB. They are here to protect and serve (last time I check) and I’d rather have them around in the event that I ever need to call on them, than need them and be shit out of luck (which is most often the case).

I have friends that are officers and they are cool as shit, totally different from the dicks that I’ve had the privilege of dealing with on occasion. Of the tidbits of information that I’ve learned from them over time, one thing I was told is that an officer isn’t allowed to run anyone’s plates or do a search on a person unless they have reasonable suspicion that this person may be breaking the law or has an official reason for said search. Which brings me to the meat and potatoes of this post.

Last night after a quick trip to the laundromat, I was on the back to my apartment when I realized it would be in my best interest to put gas in my car while I had the opportunity. I pulled up to one of the pumps, popped the gas lid and after making a quick call proceeded to fill my tank. Literally 2 minutes later, Officer Dick (I don’t know his name obviously but he’ll forever be known to me as Officer Dick Asshole) pulled up. At first I thought he was just doing a random sweep of the area or had stopped to get something from the convenience store. Nope. Officer Dick, stopped his car right in front of mine and blatantly proceeded to run my tags.

Did I do something illegal? Is it against the law to sit in your car while you’re pumping gas? Or maybe it was because I was the only black guy at the gas station at the time. Maybe I’m being paranoid. Maybe he ran everyone’s tags that was there getting gas or something from the store, right?  I highly doubt it though, cause after my search obviously came back clean he proceeded to drive off.